Well,there has been requests for me to update my blog more often but I am sorry to inform you people that my schedule is currently very packed till I can't even get sufficient sleep at times as I'm in my second and final semester in matriculation so I'm pretty tied down with tons of work.Writing is something that I love so I will try my best to have more posts this year.
Since I don't have the time to write anything new,I would like to share some of my essays which I still have in my collection.Here's one of the longest essays which I had ever wrote in an examination.If I am not mistaken,it was for Section B(Directed Writing) in English Paper 1 during my mid year examination in Form 4(2014).It was around 7 pages(back and front) long and maybe the thickest exam script in my class.(FUN FACT:I only finished the essay when the invigilator said "masa tinggal satu minit lagi" and I didn't get to check both my essays at all but thankfully I managed to maintain my grade)
Since I don't have the time to write anything new,I would like to share some of my essays which I still have in my collection.Here's one of the longest essays which I had ever wrote in an examination.If I am not mistaken,it was for Section B(Directed Writing) in English Paper 1 during my mid year examination in Form 4(2014).It was around 7 pages(back and front) long and maybe the thickest exam script in my class.(FUN FACT:I only finished the essay when the invigilator said "masa tinggal satu minit lagi" and I didn't get to check both my essays at all but thankfully I managed to maintain my grade)
I Love You, Sarah!
“When I think of her, I am still filled with
a profound sense of loss. If I wasn’t ignorant even a bit alert, I could have
saved her and also expressed my feelings towards her. But it is too late and
it’s fully my fault. Why didn’t I take any action to stop her? My heart is
filled with guilt”.
Here am I, sitting down all alone in my room,
regretting and crying over spilt milk. Ashton tells me there’s no use of
crying, but what does he know? If I knew about it earlier, I would have
definitely tried my level best to stop her, Miss Liz’s. Now I realise why Miss
Liz always says that never put off till tomorrow what can be done today.
I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I rushed out
from my room and frantically searched for my car keys. I had to do something.
I quickly got into my car and I was heading to Oliver’s house like a maniac.
Throughout the journey, I almost knocked down a stray dog but to my dismay, I
was caught in traffic and the worst of all, my car was moving only an inch per
minute.
I opened my car dashboard to get my phone as
I was getting bored and there she was. My phone’s wallpaper is still the
picture of me and Sarah during her sweet sixteen birthday bash a fortnight ago.
That was one of the last pictures that the both of us took together. Still
staring sharply at the phone screen, I started to recall the first time I met
her.
****************************************************
It was raining cats and dogs that day. As I
was about to start up my motorbike, I heard a silent cry. I ignored it at first
but after a while, my curiosity made me to go and investigate. There she was
sitting alone on the staircase with a penknife in her hand. I wanted to walk
back but suddenly something caught my eye, she was cutting her wrists
repeatedly.
“Hey, stop that!” I shouted as I ran towards
her. She quickly hid the penknife and her cut wrists behind her when I
approached her. She was in a very miserable condition which made me even
curious. Being the vice president of the Red Crescent Society, I forced her to
follow me to the first-aid room so that I could clean her cut. She was
reluctant at first, but after my success of persuading her, she agreed to
follow.
When we reached the first-aid room, I quickly
cleaned the cut and put a plaster on it. I then sparked a conversation with her
to find out the reason behind her intentions to cut herself.
Her name was Sarah. She was one of the best
girls ever in the school but lately her results had been dwindling badly.
Sarah’s parents were in the midst of a divorce case and she was stuck in between the custody battle as she was the only child. I advised her to put her
problems aside and focus on her studies as she’ll be sitting for her PMR
examinations that year. I also made her promise to never attempt to do anything
foolish again.
After that day, Sarah became my best friend.
Although I was in Form Four and she was in Form Three, I made it a point to
meet her every day. I even used to go jogging with her at the Seberang Jaya Park
every weekend while she used to accompany me in my routine workout in the
school gym. I coached her personally and she passed with flying colour in her
PMR examination.
I rewarded Sarah’s remarkable achievement by
getting her a Samsung Galaxy Trend smartphone. I had saved my RM50 weekly
allowance and also worked part time to get it for her. Her parents’ divorce
case was also over by then and her mom won the custody battle. When I presented
the phone to her, she was speechless. She then gave me a hug that I felt like I
was out of oxygen. She was on top of the world.
I felt extremely happy for her but without me
knowing she had stole my heart. I didn’t dare to tell her as I thought that she
considered me as a friend only. When the new school year started, I got even
busier than the year before. I had been elected as the Head Prefect and also
the President of several societies.
Despite my hectic schedule of juggling so
many tasks I still made it a point to meet Sarah every day in school and we
also texted regularly. Since we couldn’t talk in school most times I would WhatsApp
or either call her and talk for hours. We would even hang out in the library
some days but with a strict rule of studying. All the while, I was waiting for
the right opportunity to express my love to her but the fear of getting
rejected overpowered me.
As it was nearing the middle of the year, I
became even busier I was tied with tuitions, extra classes, sport practices and
many more. This lowered down my chances of communicating with Sarah but we
still WhatsApp each other regularly as I couldn’t live without chatting with
her. I squeezed through my hectic schedule to help make preparations for her
sweet sixteen birthday bash.
On the evening of Sarah’s sweet sixteen
birthday bash, I was in a loss of words when I saw her. I bet she made the jaws
of all those present drop as she looked stunning in the blue cocktail dress
which I had personally chosen for her. We had the time of our lives that day
and that us when I realised that Sarah is my one true love.
“Jonathan, until when are you going to
prolong it. You better confess your love towards her soon or you’re going to
regret,” Ashton reminded me the next day.
“Don’t worry, I’m going to propose to her on
my birthday. I just can’t wait for it,” I exclaimed excitedly.
“Oh, well! Good luck Jonathan. Hopefully
you’ll get a positive reply,” he said before walking away.
Since my birthday was in two weeks, I procrastinated my plans as I was tied up with tons of school work. My
messages and calls to Sarah also decreased as I was too busy. I didn’t even
have the time to tend to my homework let alone check out my phone. But a day
before my birthday, I got a call on the wee hours of the morning. It was from
Sarah.
“Jonathan, I need you. But before I hang up,
I would like to say that I love you. Thank you for everything”, she said
frantically.
“Sarah....Sarah...calm down. Tell me what’s
the matter, is everything okay?”, but it was too late as she had already hung up.
My heart was not at peace after the call as I
sensed that something was wrong.Various thoughts kept lingering in my mind but
I brushed them off by convincing myself that everything’s alright. I couldn’t
sleep that night. I tried calling Sarah back but to my vain all my calls were
left unattended.
I was gasping for breath when I reached the
fifth floor and there it was room 507. It was an ICU ward. I looked around and
it was so silent that I could even hear a pin drop. There was not a sign of
anyone around. I braved myself and pushed the door open to see Sarah lying
unconsciously on the bed. The look of her terrified me. I couldn’t believe my
eyes that she was Sarah. She was wearing an oxygen mask, her eyes shut. Surrounding
her was her parents, Oliver and some of her other friends. The pulse rate
machine was beating slowly indicating her low heart beat rate.
Her mother called me out and explained to me what
had happened the other night. Sarah had consumed a quarter bottle of chloroform. She didn’t know the reason behind it. She asked me if I knew
what made her do it. I shook my head. Oliver then told me that Sarah had been
constantly calling and texting me but I had left them all unanswered. I was
shocked when I checked through my call log and WhatsApp as there were more than
100 missed calls and messages from Sarah.
While I was reading each of the messages, I suddenly heard Sarah’s mother calling me to come into the room.Sarah had regained consciousness but she was extremely weak. I could see through the look in her eyes that she was trying to tell me something. But she then went back to an unconscious state again before she could even talk to anyone. According to the doctors, Sarah was in a critical stage and only a miracle could save her.
While I was reading each of the messages, I suddenly heard Sarah’s mother calling me to come into the room.Sarah had regained consciousness but she was extremely weak. I could see through the look in her eyes that she was trying to tell me something. But she then went back to an unconscious state again before she could even talk to anyone. According to the doctors, Sarah was in a critical stage and only a miracle could save her.
That night, I stayed up in the hospital with
her. It was also the eve of my seventeenth birthday. The whole night I couldn’t
keep my eyes of her. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer to God. Suddenly
I felt a hand taking grasp of my finger. When I opened my eyes, I realised that
Sarah had regained consciousness. She indicated me to sit by her side as she lay
on my shoulder. She tried to speak, but when she opened her mouth, no words
came out.
She hugged me and whispered in my ear,
“Jonathan, I love you”. Without saying another word or even before my reply,
she was gone. Sarah had passed away peacefully on my shoulders that too on my
birthday. I rushed out to call the doctor. I tried their level best to
resuscitate her but it was no use, as Sarah was already gone. A daughter, a
friend and most importantly my love had passed away before I could even express
my love to her.
Sarah’s death had affected me badly. I’d
been confined in my room for days. During her funeral, I sobbed uncontrobally
that even my friends said that it was weird. They told me that guys will never
cry like that but I just didn’t care. All efforts to calm me down were
impossible as I couldn’t accept the fact that Sarah is no longer alive.
********************************************
Now, I’m already reaching Oliver’s house. I
parked my car and ran towards the door. After constantly ringing the door bell,
Oliver opened the door. She invited me in. I went in and sat on the couch.
“Jonathan, Sarah told me to give this to you
a day before she committed suicide. I’m not sure what the content is but I
guess it’s something important. I actually wanted to give it to you on her
funeral, but you were just unconsolable so now I’ll give it to you,” she handed
me the letter.
I tore open the letter. The contents shocked
me.
“Dear Jonathan,
Ever since I first met you, my life has
changed tremendously. The sweet memories I had with you, I’ll cherish them
forever. But I would like to tell you something.
All this while I had loved
you,
Meeting you
was maybe an accident,
But knowing
you was a blessing,
On top of
it,
I just love
you so much,
Loved you
yesterday,
Loving you
today,
And love you
tomorrow,
And forever.
Loving you
all the way..
Yours
lovingly,
Sarah.
I broke down
and tears started rolling down my eyes. All this while, I thought that I was
the only one who loved her but I never realised that she actually loved me back.
But it’s too late. Sarah was gone even before she knew that I loved her too. Now,
I understand the reason behind Miss Liz’s favourite saying. So to everyone out
there bear the phrase below in mind,
‘NEVER PUT OFF TILL TOMORROW WHAT CAN BE DONE
TODAY!’
Saveetra Revathi A/P S Sethupathi
2014
I hope that you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
To those of you who are in SMK Convent Butterworth,you can check out the printed version of this story in FORTE XVII(2014).
That's all for now I guess.Goodnight!!
