Eyebags...my Favourite accessory

         

The cause of my beautiful eyebags is insomnia

Insomnia...
Yes,you read it right,I am actually suffering from insomnia at the moment as I have a quiz for Economics later in the morning plus I still have tons of assignments to tutorials to be completed because I was not able to attend classes on Tuesday and Thursday due to having terrible gastritis and food poisoning. Missing lectures and tutoring sessions made me feel even more stressed as I hated resting in the room.If I live on the first floor,I would have definitely dragged myself to class but unfortunately I live  on the 4th floor so I didn't want to take any risks as I  eas afraid that I would faint ony jourmey as I was dehydrated and weak...Moreover,since I was losimg my sleep because I had been suffering from insomnia,my health was affected plus my eyebags became more obvious as days went by...

What is insomnia???

Insomnia is a sleep disorder. People with insomnia have trouble sleeping, in that they have difficulty falling asleep, or staying asleep as long as desired.^[1][2]While the term is sometimes used to describe a disorder as diagnosed bypolysomnographic or actigraphicevidence, this is often practically defined as a positive response to either of two questions: "do you experience difficulty sleeping?" or "do you have difficulty falling or staying asleep?"^[2]

Insomnia is most often thought of as both a medical sign and a symptom^[2][3]that can accompany several sleep, medical, and psychiatric disorders characterized by a long term difficulty falling asleep and/or staying asleep or sleep of poor quality. Insomnia is typically followed by functional impairment while awake. Insomnia can occur at any age, but it is particularly common in the elderly.^[4] Insomnia can be short term (up to three weeks) or long term (above 3–4 weeks); it can lead to memory problems, depression, irritability and an increased risk of heart disease and automobile related accidents.^[5]

Source:Wikipedia

Dealing with Loneliness....Part 1

This post is dedicated to a close friend who is trying her level best to fit into a new environment after being plugged with depression and loneliness for almost half a year.This is part 1 so stay tuned for more.....

I am so sorry dear,but the truth is that I don't want to be emotionally attached  with anyone anymore.

When I say emotionally attached,I am not talking about love relationships but basically any sort of relationship be it with family,friends,etc... 

It hurts to be ignored,rejected and treated like an animal all the time.

Just because I am smiling,it does not mean that I am happy on the inside as a fake smile can hide a million tears.

My smile is fake and I know that I may look like the happiest person when in reality I am suffering inside...

I may be alive but the truth is my soul died a very long time ago.

I can't withstand anymore heartbreaks and FYI,I am not the old me anymore.

I have changed a lot or maybe even completely in that 6 months.

After breaking out of loneliness,dejection and depression I had a culture shock.

I tried to fit in but people just kept on doing that plus mostly misunderstood me without knowing what I was going through.

I give up on people already.

Nobody is being honest at all and I am not gonna let myself to be hurt anymore as I might gonna continue leaving alone.

Life is way better like this as I won't have any regrets later on.

It will be a million times better as nobody will disappoint or abandon me in the end.

Therefore,I am taking this decision for my betterment.

Early morning musings..

I found this wonderful short essay saved in my pendrive,but I have no idea on whether I penned it myself or was it something which I copy and pasted from somewherebut is such an inspiring essay,I choose to post as good things are better shared...

... so this is for us.

This is for us who sing, write, dance, act, study, run and love

and this is for doing it even if no one will ever know

because the beauty is in the act of doing it.

Not what it can lead to.

This is for the times I lose myself while writing, singing, playing

and no one is around and they will never know

but I will forever remember

and that shines brighter than any praise or fame or glory I will ever have,

and this is for you who write or play or read or sing

by yourself with the light off and door closed

when the world is asleep and the stars are aligned

and maybe no one will ever hear it

or read your words

or know your thoughts

but it doesn’t make it less glorious.

It makes it ethereal. Mysterious.

Infinite.

For it belongs to you and whatever God or spirit you believe in

and only you can decide how much it meant

and means

and will forever mean

and other people will experience it too

through you.

Through your spirit. Through the way you talk.

Through the way you walk and love and laugh and care

and I never meant to write this long

but what I want to say is:

Don’t try to present your art by making other people read or hear or see or touch it; make them feel it. Wear your art like your heart on your sleeve and keep it alive by making people feel a little better. Feel a little lighter. Create art in order for yourself to become yourself

and let your very existence be your song, your poem, your story.

Let your very identity be your book.

Let the way people say your name sound like the sweetest melody.

So go create. Take photographs in the wood, run alone in the rain and sing your heart out high up on a mountain

where no one will ever hear

and your very existence will be the most hypnotising scar.

Make your life be your art

and you will never be forgotten.

A Day Filled With Lessons..................

A smile is a smile,no matter the face,a soul is a soul,no matter the race...

I can say that I had seen,felt and also learnt so much in this past week and most of it happened today.Since I am a lazy to separate them,I would just list it out.

1.Times change but people just remain the same.
-You may disagree with this but based on  my personal experience,I realised that some peolpe can never change themselves no matter how hard you try.

2.Everyone is equal.
-No matter how rich a person is,in the end all of us will be buried in the same soil so why boast about your title,social status,etc.?Today,I got the opportunity to meet a female politician who is so down to earth.I am saying so because unlike other VIPs whom i had seen in my life,she actually waited in line for her turn to be served in temple.

3.Too many cooks spoil the broth.
- What happened today was that too many self-proclaimed chefs spoil the 'morru'.Since it was the annual fire walking ceremony in the temple in my neighbourhood,the resident council decided to set up a refreshment stall serving 'morru'.Morru is actually buttermilk mixed with Indian spices.Well,since everyone had different ideas on the perfect taste of the 'morru',each of them added extra ingredients and also lots of salt.The end result?????The 'morru' became so salty that we had to dilute it almost thrice to bring back it's original taste.

4.It doesn't mean that without both feet,one can't stand tall.
-I met another 'special' person this week and it was a man in his 50s named Mr.Shanmugam who is a snacks and toys seller.Just like in Sally's case(Read my earlier blog entry titled problems to know more),I never knew that he was disabled as he was using prosthetics for both of his legs.Despite being disabled,he is determined to succeed and be the sole breadwinner of the family as both his sons are in university while his youngest daughter is in Form 2.

My Wishlist !!!!

I am back to being a Penangite this week after being a Perlian for the past month as I came back home for the Raya holidays...It feels great to be home as I can perform my daily duties peacefully in a familiar environment without the worry of someone trespassing my room(It is not that peaceful actually as I have my annoying younger sister poking her nose in everything I do).Well,as my parents insist on driving all the way to Perlis to send and pick me up which is really costly as a one-way trip costs them at least RM200(inclusive of petrol and toll only) they came up with a decision.I can't come back home until my mid-semester break which is in early September.I tried my best to convince them that I can just use the college bus instead as it will only cost me RM18 for the two-way trip but they gave me a strong NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Therefore,I took a decision and came up with my wishlist.Since the wishlist was done in 10 minutes,I may have missed some of the things I wanted to include in it but even without the'forgotten' iems,I already have around 10 in the current list.

So,what list did I make?Being a fellow Malaysian,I think that some of you might have guessed what are the contents in my wishlist ......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Well,my wishlist is titled THE FOOD I WANT TO EAT BEFORE LEAVING PENANG ON 11 JULY 2016!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......It would be shame that I miss out all of favourite  food picks since I won't be back in Penang for a long time....

*BOOM....BOOM...BOOM....DRUM ROLLS EVERYONE*

And I present you

SAVEE'S LIST OF FOOD TO EAT BEFORE LEAVING PENANG ON 11 JULY 2016!!!!

1.Curry Mee

This is on top of my list as it was one of the food that I never dared to lay my hands  on when I was 

younger as it looked oily and spicy but after trying just a spoonful of it from my Dad's bowl last year,I realised that it was the tastiest thing which I ever ate.It is a challenge at times to find the perfect halal curry mee stall but thank God I could get a tasty bowl of it from the faithful Chinese Aunty from the market in my neighbourhood.Luckily,I had this for breakfast the first morning I got back home so CURRY MEE CHECK!!!

2.Wan Tan Mee

Wan Tan Mee has been my favourite since childhood and I would only consume it at a particular stall from the Bagan market because I don't know why that the wan tan mee sold at the particular shop tastes absolutely delicious and the soup is made without pork too so I don't have to worry about mistakenly consuming pork.Once again,I am lucky because I just had wan tan mee for breakfast yesterday so WAN TAN MEE CHECK!!!

3.Brown Rice Nasi Lemak

I fell in love with this heavenly version of nasi lemak thanks to my school's computer technician Mr.Liew who once gave a whole plastic bag full of it my Editorial Board teacher advisor,Pn.Phan when I was in Form 4(2014). Since there were still some packets left,Pn.Phan decided to give a packet each to me and my best friend,Amelia.My first reaction when I saw it was IT IS ROSAK!!!!!Amelia then told me that it is not spoilt but it was simply made of brown rice and pepper. It was so tasty that I finished it in less than 3 minutes(I am a really slow eater actually) and what made it more memorable was that we were actually eating in the teacher's cubicle and something happened(We'll save the story for another time as it will take a whole new post to retaliate it).I got to know that it is sold at Bagan Ajam market and since my mom used to frequent that market on weekends,I pestered her to get it for me and Mr.Liew who later got to know about my obsession with it made it a point to save at least a packet for me when he visited my school.What really touched me was after he was posted to China and he came back to Penang after almost 6 months I guess,he actually remembered my love for it and bought it for me on the last weeks before SPM....That was one of best final memories in my alma matter,SMK Convent Butterworth..Unfortunately,my mom told me that it is too far to go to the market from my new house but I am gonna try to convince her so BROWN RICE NASI LEMAK PENDING....

4.Egg Thosai

It may seem like a odd combination and I couldn't find the perfect picture of it in Google so I have to settle with this.I only started eating this in Form 3 when I asked for an alternative to the plain thosai which I am used to and also fell in love with it on first bite.Egg thosai is best eaten with chicken curry and I guess that I will be having it for breakfast tomorrow so EGG THOSAI PENDING....

5.Apom Balik

There is two types of apom balik and the one I like is the miniature ones which are crispy and tastier.It is gonna be hard to find apom balik as most of the sellers are Muslims who are celebrating Hari Raya but I will try getting it at the night market in my neighborhood this Saturday night so APOM BALIK PENDING!!!!!

6.Char Koay Teow

You can find many versions of char koay teow be  but my personal favourite are the koay teow basah which can be found in Malay stalls and also the World Famous Penang Char Koay Teow!!!!! I ate it for dinner yesterday so CHAR KOAY TEOW CHECK!!!!!

7.Cendol

You can find cendol sold almost everywhere but my personal pick will be the stall in front of SMK Dato' Onn Butterworth.My mom told me that the current owner is a 2nd generation cendol seller and I think that is why the taste has been the same since my first try at way back in 2005 but since it will be hassling to go all the way there to just get a bowl of cendol(I am trying to be considerate towards my parents here) so I think that I will opt for a bowl of cendol somewhere nearer tomorrow.Therefore,CENDOL PENDING!!!!!!!

8.TomYam Maggi

Well,I just ate a bowl pf tom yam for RM9 for dinner about 3 hours ago and I am still full.The guilt feeling of eating such an expensive dinner is still haunting me as when I ordered,the uncle told me that the standard price is RM5 and it would cost around RM6.50 with the extra crabsticks which I requested for.However,the uncle ended up adding two of each ingredients instead which resulted in the 'very cheap price' that I paid for it.I forced myself to finish it and thank God my Dad helped me out so TOM YAM MAGGI CHECK!!!!!!

9.Sushi Bread

I was introduced to this by my best friend Sueqi in Form 3 and what I love the most about it is that it takes only around 6 to 7 pieces to fill up my tummy for the whole day...The bakery which sells this amazing delicacy is quite near to my new house so I would be making a beeline there tomorrow SO SUSHI BREAD,WAIT FOR ME,I AM COMING FOR YOU TOMORROW!!!!

10..Gulab Jamun

Chocolates and sweets are a girl's best friend right?This high in calorie dessert has a special place in my heart and since Ananda Bhawan is just a stone throw's away from my house,I would just be walking there to buy them.  Therefore, DEAR GULAB JAMUN,WE SHALL MEET TOMORROW TOO!!!!!

11.Chicken Murtabak

You can find murtabak almost anywhere but my personal favourite is the one sold in the night market at Taman Inderawasih every Saturday.It is not like the other murtabaks you get out there as it contains real chicken pieces and not only egg+onions and the price is around RM3 which is very worth it.However,I am not sure if the stall will be open this week so I am gonna find for a wishing star later and make a wish...So,CHICKEN MURTABAK PENDING.......

12.Subway Chicken Tandoori

I am pretty sure that most of you will have the song which was created when Subway Malaysia announced that they will be bringing back this heavenly creation back again for a limited time....I may get it at C-Mart back in Perlis but if I did,I have to use RM11.90 of my allowance for it so I am gonna eat it In Penang instead as RM11.90 is quite a big amoun t for a college student(Well,it can cover the price of my meals for 2 days in college so I better use my parent's money now as I DON'T WANT TO GET SCOLDED LATER)SO,SEE YOU SOON SUBWAY CHICKEN TANDOORI!!!!!

Woah!!!!That is a lot of food and I bet I am gonna gain back the 2 kg I lost in my first month college but food is a basic need of live so I am gonna eat all of the food listed here without any guilt.I only have one hope which is I don't suffer another heart attack after seeing the price of my food.It's getting late and I have to sleep....Goodbye....

Sincerely,

Saveetra Revathi 

Problems.......yes...I Mean PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life doesn’t come with a lifetime guarantee of perfection.Everyone in this world is facing their own set of problems.We cannot avoid problems to make our life perfect but we can try and handle our problems perfectly…

*Aarti Khurana* 

Well,do you remember the last time when you did not fret about your problems?Let me guess,the answer is NEVER right?We are constantly laden with problems  such as  not being able to use the latest smartphone,having to eat hostel food which is not appealing to your taste buds,the WIFI connection is so slow(this are the list of problems faced by me and my peers in college actually),etc… It seem like there is no end to all your worries right?You can be facing so much of problems in life that you feel like shouting WHY ME??????????? All the time…..I am pretty sure that most of you would have asked this question to God at least once in your life when you’re faced with a problem.A wise man once said “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all” so if you don’t face problems in life(TRUST ME IN THIS),your life will  be dull and unadventurous…..You may feel that the problem you’re facing is the biggest problem ever in  the world when in reality,your problem may just be a tear compared to all of the problem in the world in this world combined together which can be bigger than the Pacific Ocean itself….By now,most  of you would be wondering what am I crapping about THAT TOO ON HARI RAYA!!!!!!!!

“God has you in the palm of his hand.he has answers to all the problems you are facing now and all you will face in the future”
*unknown*

Well,this is how the story goes.Since it is Hari Raya today,my family and I visited the home of our traditional healer.It has been a family custom as far as I can remember plus it is my personal way of  expressing my gratitude towards Tata(that is how I address him,I mean the traditional healer) who once saved my life..(YESSSS…you read it right!!!!If not for him I wouldn’t be alive today but let’s just save that story for another day)After a scrumptious brunch,my parents decided to talk to Tata and his family on some adult stuff so I was sitting in front of the Tv watching some old Indian movie…….To be frank,I hate watching old movies(which teenager does like old movies anyway) so I decided to walk around and that was when I saw her.She was a girl,around 4 to 5 years of age and she was lying on the lap of her grandmother.I thought that she was lying down after having a heavy meal but something in my heart told me to go and greet her so I walked towards her…..

She realised that there was someone approaching her and called out “AKKA!!!”….I sat beside them and sparked a conversation.I am not gonna mention her name so I we will just call her SALLY….She will be 5 this year but till this day,she haven’t taken her first step in life(I mean walking).I couldn’t believe my eyes and ears upon knowing that as Sally looked like any other ordinary child who was taking a short nap.As the conversation progressed,I got to know that since the day she was born,Sally could only move her head and fingers but the rest of  her body is immobile.Despite that,she is so jovial and has such a charming smile that could make one forget all of your worries in just a glance.Her current caregivers are both of her grandparents whom based on my observation are not in good health themselves.I only got to talk to her grandmother who has knee problems and has trouble walking herself….

I couldn’t continue my conversation with them as the grandmother was already sobbing and my parents were also about to leave…Sally begged me not to leave her as she wanted a friend to play with and what she did next is what inspired me to write this blog post.Sally tried to get up to give me a kiss on the cheek…As it was impossible for her to do that,I brought myself closer to her so that she could give a light peck on the cheek.I tried my level best to hold back my tears and thank God I didn’t cry in front of them…But I did cry when I entered the car as it was heartbreaking to see a little girl who can't walk plus when I compared my problem with hers,I realised on how blessed I am as my problems are just a tad compared to hers.I said a silent prayer thanking God for making me able-bodied and I also prayed that Sally could walk...maybe just for once(It may sound impossible but I believe that miracles can happen when there is faith plus who can change God's plan anyway)

Problems are like washing machines…they twist us,spin us and knock us around…but in the end we come out cleaner,brighter and better before!!!!!!!!!!!!    *unknown*

As you can see,despite her condition,Sally has such a carefree attitude and is always seen with a smile on her face!!!!She hasn’t even taken her first step in life but she chooses to be happy so why are you fretting over your problems for???Come on,YOLO so why bother about problems?Problems may come and go but live still has to go on right??I am not saying that we should have the ‘tidak apa’,’apa kau kisah’ attitude when faced with problems but to look at our problem from a different angle as what might seem like a huge problem can actually turn out to be just a small problem….

In conclusion,PLEASE!!!OH,PLEASEEEEEEEE!!!!!! ENJOY LIFE AND SELAMAT HARI RAYA AGAIN!!!!!!

P.s.Since it’s Hari Raya today,why not reach out to other special people like Sally and make their day even beautiful.After all,the spirit of helping others is our Malaysian culture kan?

Sincerely,

Saveetra Revathi

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